The Girl on the Pedestal
by phoenix9648
Summary: Lydia takes some time apart from Stiles to grieve their friends deaths and figure out her feelings for the brown-eyed boy, only to come back to find another girl had swooped in and won his affection. Jealousy and insecurity of what she really means to Stiles ensues, but Stiles is determined to find out what's going on with her. Stydia. Post 3x24.
1. The Girl on the Pedestal

_**Summary:** Lydia takes some time apart from Stiles to grieve their friends deaths and figure out her feelings for the brown-eyed boy, only to come back to find another girl had swooped in and won his affection._

_Jealous!Lydia comes out to play, but it ended up being more Insecure/Sad!Lydia than I originally planned. I just dove into her character more than I thought I would and it transformed this into a huge thing. I considered splitting it in two but felt that it was just better as a single unit, however lengthy. Hope you all don't mind :) Some other beloved characters are present, but it takes place post-3x24._

_The rating is high for the content, but I do curse once, sorry :/ And some things I just felt I better be safe rather than sorry about._

_First time posting in the Teen Wolf fandom on FF but I had a request from someone on tumblr to_ _post this on here :) Hope you all enjoy! The response I got on tumblr has blown me away, so here's hoping you all will like it too! Thank you so very much for taking the time to read! Let me know your thoughts if you can :)_

**I do not own Teen Wolf.**

* * *

Lydia wasn't an idiot.

That wasn't even referring to her IQ—which was admirably high on its own—but she had blessed with a decent amount of common sense and so-called 'street smarts'.

So she knew that Stiles Stilinski's feelings for her had been unrequited for many years and that she had made no indication that she felt the same way or even _could_ feel the same way. Ever since he had come into her life, they had been friends only, save for one panic-attack-halting kiss.

She still was trying to convince herself that that was a perfectly acceptable method to stop hyperventilation. It worked, didn't it? Sure, she could've just _asked_ him to hold his breath, but who knows if he would have listened. The element of surprise was key.

Yes. Exactly. Totally acceptable method.

Despite their kiss that she'll admit probably lasted longer than it needed to, they had remained friends-only. It was crazy to think that if Allison had never come to Beacon Hills, she might not have ever known Stiles or Scott or about the supernatural. Of course, she might still have been attacked by Peter and been a Banshee and become intertwined in their lives that way but…

There was no need to dwell on the past or what ifs. The point was, her appreciation for Stiles Stilinski had grown over the months of befriending him and Scott and diving into the supernatural world with their 'pack'. It hadn't taken long for her to enjoy being around him—it was hard not to like being around someone who looked at her in such a way, who boosted her up like praising her was second nature, and who seemed absolutely blind to her many glaringly obvious faults. Lydia had waited for the novelty to wear off, for Stiles to see her for what she was and get bored, but he still looked at her like he always had.

Maybe it had changed a little. As they became closer friends, they both brought down some walls. Stiles was still his goofy self but he relaxed around her, didn't worry so much about impressing her and was more content to just act naturally and talk with her instead of worrying about what she thought about what he said. Once he did that, she discovered just how smart he really was, and how interesting.

Lydia, on the other hand, stopped being so concerned with fitting the image of the girl on the pedestal and was herself more around a boy than she ever had been. She found Stiles really easy to talk to, about more than just the supernatural craziness or regular small talk but her insecurities and concerns and ambitions. The way he talked about her it was clear that he believed firmly in her, that she could achieve anything she wanted, and she began wondering what she had ever done to deserve such a strong supporter.

Over time, things got crazier in the supernatural world but Stiles was the one constant she could rely on. He was more than just her research buddy—he was her partner in the crazy world.

When the nogitsune had taken over his body a few months ago, it had been hard on everyone. Lydia had to watch the guy she was beginning to fall for deteriorate at an alarming rate, and there was a time when no one, not even Stiles, thought he would survive. Scott, of course, refused to lose Stiles and they ended up being able to defeat the trickster spirit and give Stiles back his body and life. It was the feeling of relief when he woke up after the nogitsune disappeared that woke Lydia up to her feelings for him. She had been trying to deny them as much as she could before then, but things had changed too much for her to keep up the act.

In the following weeks, as they all grieved the deaths of Allison and Aiden, Lydia spent a lot of time with Stiles. He had been the first one to make her laugh after everything happened. She remembered being dressed in loose, casual clothing that she wouldn't be caught dead in in front of a boy before, her hair piled in a messy bun on top of her head, and she and Stiles were working on homework since they had fallen tragically behind because of all the craziness. She couldn't even remember what he had said—all she remembered was looking over at him from her spot next to him on his bed for a long moment, and then cracking up completely. She laughed so hard tears streaked down her cheeks and she buried them in his shoulder as her body shook with something besides sobs for the first time in a long time. Stiles had affectionately kissed her forehead and hugged her tight and she remembered feeling at complete peace.

It had been hard to leave him that night, and it had been even harder not to kiss him goodbye. But Lydia didn't wanted to start something in the middle of dealing with all of the emotional stuff. It wasn't fair to either of them, and she wanted to make sure both of them were getting into something they were comfortable with. She would hate for Stiles to believe that her judgment was clouded because of her grief; he deserved better than that after everything. When she and Stiles got together, she wanted it to be perfect. She knew, for him, it had been such a long time coming, and she figured that maybe she could be the pedestal girl for one shining moment.

But now it had been a while since Lydia had seen him and she hadn't meant to shut him out or neglect their friendship. Dealing with both Allison's and Aiden's death had been far from easy, and after spending the first few weeks relying on Stiles, she wanted to take some space. It was important that she find her own footing too, as much as she appreciated all the support he offered, and she knew that she needed to work out for her feelings for him too. If she was around him all the time, it would only make it harder to decipher exactly how she was feeling. She was pretty sure she had been falling for him for a while, but this way she could separate everything and get a better focus on what to do about them.

Stiles had seemed to understand her need for space and didn't push her, likely knowing that when she was ready she would come to him. And Lydia couldn't ask for anything better.

The problem was, in her absence, she hadn't realized that he had filled his free time with another girl.

Maybe Lydia _was_ an idiot, for thinking that the novelty of his admirable image of her would never rub off when it had taken so long already, because she actually found herself completely blind-sided when she had gone to his house for the first time in weeks to find him in the company of another.

It was the Sherriff who answered the door but he was on the phone, so he smiled and gestured her inside, instructing orders into the phone as he pointed towards the living room to indicate where his son was. Lydia was happy to see that, despite his business, Stiles' dad looked much more relaxed than she had seen him in months. They all were finally moving on from the nogitsune madness that had nearly taken the life of his son and she was glad to see that he looked to be getting the proper amount of sleep nowadays.

Lydia adjusted her dress and hair and continued on her way down the hall. She heard Stiles' signature goofy laughter and was surprised to hear another person's mixed in. And then she heard a distinct bark.

Rounding the corner into the room, Lydia saw that Stiles and Malia were playing with some sort of mixed breed dog—it looked like a cross between a shepherd and a lab. It had medium length tan fur with black and brown markings throughout, and it was clearly very affectionate as it was licking Stiles' face and trying to convince him to grab the rubber ball he had left for him.

Both teens were beaming and teasing the canine but looked up in surprise at the visitor.

"Lydia. Hey!" Stiles greeted with a smile before being knocked over by the dog.

Malia laughed. "Scooter, manners please! We've been over this! No more knocking over Stiles." she said, dragging the dog off the teenage boy by his red collar.

Lydia was not oblivious to the affection laced through Malia's pronunciation of Stiles' name nor the way her eyes lingered on him before swiveling back to Lydia.

"Sorry… new puppy. Brought him over to meet Stiles and he hasn't really been on his best behaviour since we got here." she said through her laughter as the dog tried to burst out of her arms to greet Lydia.

The one thing she was grateful for was that at least Malia managed to restrain him from barrelling her down. She liked dogs just fine, having one of her own and all, but she wasn't a big fan of the big boisterous ones. Apparently Stiles was the opposite.

So Malia and Stiles were buddies now? Buddies that shared their new puppies right away? She knew that the two of them got along and had bonded a bit but she never imagined that Malia was _that_ close with Stiles. Stiles had been fundamental in her rescue, one he admitted later she had voiced she hadn't wanted in the first place, and now they were, what, a _thing_? She hadn't missed the way Stiles had been eying her in return. And anyone with eyeballs could tell that Malia was a beautiful girl.

But, you know, so what if they were closer, right? It didn't mean Stiles had forgotten all about Lydia and what they had.

"You know, if you were half this nice to Prada, she'd probably like you more." Lydia teased Stiles, leaning against the door frame as Stiles threw the rubber ball for the dog. Thankfully the shepherd mix was more concerned with the moving target than the newcomer so Lydia was safe from slobber and excited scratches.

Stiles rolled his eyes. "Your dog is evil, Lydia. She only likes you."

Malia giggled at his joke, and he cast an affectionate smile in her direction. It was like Lydia wasn't even there.

She felt a sudden punch to her heart and knew she had to leave. They were definitely more than just buddies and she couldn't deal with it right now.

"Scooter, NO!" Malia shouted, extremely unconvincingly in Lydia's opinion, wrestling with the dog who had once again pinned Stiles to the floor to unleash his loving licks on every inch of available skin. Naturally, it meant Malia too had to hover over Stiles to try to wrench the dog off, practically straddling one of his legs, and Lydia felt the ugly green dragon come out to play.

"Malia, since Scooter _is _a dog, can't you, like, talk to it or something and get it to listen to you?"

The dog was now off Stiles, and he sent her a disapproving look, like he couldn't believe she had actually asked that. "Lydia!"

Lydia couldn't help but glower a little in his direction, but tried to feign innocence. "What? There's got to be benefits from being a coyote for half your life and I think dog obedience should be one of them."

Malia didn't seem so bothered. Her eyes changed to something resembling a dog in a fight and Lydia remembered that maybe she should watch herself a little more. This was a girl that had torn apart her own family under the influence of a full moon.

"I'm trying to have a dog the old-fashioned way, you know, getting it to respect me as its owner not its pack leader." Malia replied evenly. "But maybe I should help you with your dog, if it has so many behavioural issues."

Lydia had to supress a smile. Malia may not have dealt with high school drama and bitchy girls growing up, but she had been in the wild and knew how to survive. Lydia had to respect her for that.

Stiles was looking at Malia apologetically, like Lydia was some misbehaving child that couldn't help herself, despite the fact that _Malia_ had just thrown shade in her direction too, and Lydia knew her time at the Stilinski residence was up.

"I'll keep that in mind. Anyways, you guys have fun. I'm sorry for interrupting. I'll see you at school."

Stiles seemed to realize suddenly that he hadn't been paying very much attention to her since she arrived. "Wait, Lydia, you stopped by for a reason—"

"I was just in the neighbourhood. Don't worry about it. I'll see you both later. And Malia, I'm sorry if what I said was insensitive. Sometimes I can't control my filter." she said honestly, feeling a little bad now for her jab. Malia had never done anything to Lydia besides be nice to her. Who was she to come in firing shots?

If the strawberry-blonde was being fair, Malia was allowed to develop feelings for Stiles. Malia was allowed to befriend him and then see how special he was and go for it. Lydia knew she shouldn't take her anger at herself for taking so long to figure out how she felt on the girl who had no idea what 'thing' she and Stiles had had brewing over the last few months. And it was clear Stiles was more than happy for her to feel that way about him, so Lydia supposed she better suck it up and be happy for them. That's what a true friend would do. Actually, that's what Stiles had done for her and Jackson, and her and Aiden. He respected her dating other guys, and he respected those guys even though he was less than enthusiastic about her choices.

Lydia made her way to the door, not surprised to find that Stiles didn't follow to try to convince her to stay, or offer any kind of farewell, and Malia and his laughter took off again followed by their voices.

"Does she always dress like a fashion model?" Malia asked him in a hushed tone.

Lydia waited for his response in curiosity, wondering if he'd jump in to defend her, saying that she knew how to make herself look beautiful, or that looking like a model came naturally to her, or _something_ resembling the usual way he overpraised her to others.

"That's just the way Lydia is." Stiles said amusedly.

Was he… was he _mocking_ her? Or was it just an affectionate tease? Lydia wasn't sure how to tell the difference anymore. And the next sound from the living room sounded remarkably like lip friction and a tear fell from her eye as she quickened her pace to get out of the house.

"Lydia! Leaving so soon? It's been a while since we've seen you." the Sherriff's friendly voice came as he came down the stairs, this time without a phone in hand.

Lydia brushed away her tears the best she could before plastering on the most sincere smile she could manage, but the second they met eyes she knew he didn't buy it.

"Hi, Mr. Stilinski. And yeah, I'm sorry it's been so long, a lot has been going on."

"Of course. I know Stiles has missed having you around as much."

On cue, another joined laugh sounded from the living room and they both glanced in that direction.

Lydia bit her lip to keep it from trembling.

"I'm sure he has." she said flatly, her attempts at making it sound genuine failing miserably. "Anyways, I'm sorry, I'm late, so I should go."

"Lydia…" he began sympathetically, obviously knowing, much like his son would if he was paying attention, that she was incredibly upset and just trying to hide it.

"It's nothing, sir. Thanks for having me." she whispered quickly, a few tears splashing down her cheeks now and she rushed to her car as fast as she could.

Lydia threw her car in drive and raced out of the street, stopping several blocks away to hunch over her steering wheel and cry. Had she really lost Stiles before she even had him?

* * *

After the Malia/Scooter incident, Lydia decided it was best she steered clear of the Stilinski boy from then on. Things were calm in the supernatural world, for the time being, and Lydia was more than grateful that she wasn't being thrust into his life to watch him fawn over his new girlfriend.

She hadn't been entirely sure they actually were together, until she saw them kissing by his jeep after school one day. She had been so numb by the exchange that she ended up sitting in her car in the parking lot for hours, until after sundown, before her mother called her in a panic thinking she was dead in a ditch somewhere.

It didn't seem like Stiles was bending over backwards to see her either. Besides the odd smile in the hallway, he barely even noticed her existence.

Maybe she deserved it. Maybe this is what Stiles felt like all those years when she was oblivious to his presence. The constant ignoring and choosing others over him. Maybe she had it coming all along.

But it was different. Stiles had gotten to know Lydia, really gotten to know her, and was now choosing to ignore her. What did that mean exactly? That he had finally figured out that he was too good for her? That she was every bit as shallow and self-absorbed as most people thought she was? She thought she had broken that image, shown him the real her and that he only cared more deeply for her now, but clearly she was played a fool.

Lydia jumped so high three days after the Stilinski house incident that her books spilled out of her arms. Scott McCall was leaning against the locker next to hers with a smile, catching her completely off guard since he hadn't been there a moment before.

"Jesus CHRIST, McCall! Breathe a little louder next time or something. I do not carry a defibrillator around with me to restart my heart." she said irritably, leaning down to snatch up her books. Scott, always the gentleman, crouched down to help her apologetically.

"Sorry… I just noticed it's been a while since we've talked and wanted to check in on you."

"Been a little too wrapped up with Kira, huh?"

Scott blushed a little but just shrugged. "I guess. We're taking things really slow… things haven't been the same since um… but I'm trying. Mostly I've just been trying to catch up on school stuff."

Lydia knew immediately what he was referring to, why his relationship with Kira was strained and she felt bad for bringing it up. When Allison died, she died in Scott's arms professing her undying love for him while he fell apart. It would put a strain on any relationship, knowing that your boyfriend lost his first love that he clearly still had feelings for in such a tragic, heartbreaking way. Lydia had always assumed Allison and Scott would get back together one day, but Allison hadn't even lived to graduate high school, so that was a pipe dream.

"Allison adored Kira, you know. All you can do is try, Scott. I'm sure Kira understands." she said sympathetically, closing her locker door with a snap and walking with him down the hall. "If there's anything school-wise you need help with, I can try to lend you a hand."

Scott lit up at that idea. "Really? Because there is this partner assignment in Calculus and we're both so stuck on this one part…"

"Who's your partner?" she asked immediately.

"Danny."

She breathed. "Let's meet at the library later. I'll try to help you guys out."

"You're a lifesaver. I'm sorry I haven't been around much. I know you've been dealing with a lot."

Lydia shook her head dismissively. "Don't be silly. You've had your own demons to face. I'm okay."

Scott held her gaze a second too long, and she knew he didn't believe that she was as okay as she was trying to seem. He didn't say anything though—just sent her a reassuring smile and was on his way.

She watched him go, stiffening when she saw him greet Stiles enthusiastically down the hall, who of course was walking with Malia. They probably had the exact same schedule. They probably spent lunches swapping snacks and making googly eyes over mac and cheese.

Lydia wouldn't know—she had started going home for lunch a few weeks ago, even though it meant with the transportation time that she only had about twenty minutes to make food and eat it before she had to leave again. It was just easier. If she was having a bad day or missing Allison too much, she could cry about it in the privacy of her own home since her mom was gone to work all day.

Not having Allison, or Aiden, or even Jackson anymore, meant her ally list was significantly shortening as well as her other options for lunch mates. She always thought Stiles would be on that list, but since she couldn't be around him right now, and wherever he was, Scott and Kira were too, she knew she was going to have to get used to eating alone.

Malia glanced at Lydia as they passed and forced a smile before slipping her fingers down through Stiles'. Stiles looked down in surprise but didn't separate them, continuing to chat animatedly with her, and Lydia felt like she got punched in the throat. She didn't know if Malia had done that maliciously or not, showing Lydia who the 'alpha' was, but if she _had_ in order to hurt Lydia, she had succeeded.

Shutting her locker with a little more force than necessary, she hurried to her next class even though it wouldn't start for another ten minutes.

* * *

Lydia was grateful that she had agreed to help Danny and Scott with their homework. It was the perfect way to spend time with them without other friends hanging around and it gave her a great distraction from her current Stiles saga.

She didn't like being the girl that pined away over the boy. It was unfamiliar territory. It usually didn't take much for her to win a boy's affections, but now, she felt utterly helpless. It made her feel like a deflated balloon or a wilted flower or some other sort of pathetic thing. She didn't know what to do about it either.

She was trying really hard to be the better person, to be indifferent to his new relationship status and worry more about their friendship than their _thing_—the thing that, based on how they were with each other most days, felt like they were on the very precipice of dating. She rather liked their _thing_, in fact she loved it, and it barely even mattered because she was pretty sure she had lost both at this rate.

It seemed like Malia had opened Stiles' eyes to what other girls had to offer, and maybe now he realized that Lydia wasn't all that special. Malia clearly made Stiles laugh a lot, and Lydia didn't think she had ever been funny a day in her life. Had she ever made Stiles laugh? He was a funny guy; it only made sense that he'd want someone who made him laugh as much as he made others…

"Lydia, does this answer make sense?" Danny asked, pulling her out of her inner monologue, and she focused on the paper he was pushing towards her.

She scanned the numbers quickly and pushed it back. "You forgot to divide by two up there to get rid of the fraction. Almost though." she added encouragingly, smiling at her long-time friend.

Naturally, when Lydia was feeling a little calmer, the boy who stole her heart came into the library with none other than the coyote girl. Was this a running gag? Did they ever spend time apart? Were they purposely doing this to drive Lydia insane or did they seriously only separate to use the bathroom these days?

"So Stiles and the new girl seem to have hit it off." Danny said conversationally, nodding in their direction, oblivious to Lydia's frantic thoughts and giving her another dose of bile in her throat.

Scott smiled. "Yeah. They became friends before she transferred here. And they've sort of had a thing for a while." He leaned closer. "Don't tell anyone, but they sort of hooked up when they were… staying at the same place one night. They were working together on something and were left alone in a basement with no supervision and well…"

Danny smiled, rolling his eyes in amusement and maybe a little pride that Stilinski had finally scored, and went back to his work.

Lydia, on the other hand, had a much less enthusiastic answer.

She felt the walls come crashing down around her at the new information. She had been hurting before, but it was nothing like now. She knew what Scott was referring to. The night Malia and Stiles were at Eichen House together. And she knew what the slang term 'hooked up' referred to, especially coming out of a teenage boy's mouth.

Stiles laugh rang out from a few tables over and she closed her eyes tightly. That sound used to stitch up her heart—now it cut it open and let it bleed. Her lungs felt like they were filled with wet cement, and her eyes went blurry. There was a rushing in her ears, like she had suddenly plunged into water rapids, and her spastic heart beat loudly to break up the sound.

Stiles had moved on from her long ago. Stiles had stopped waiting for her long ago. He had every right to. Lydia had thought that she would be the one that Stiles lost his virginity to… she planned on taking things super slow and was excited to see his boyish charm shine through his excitement that _wow this is actually happening _and his loving touches and gentle kisses and she knew he'd spend the entire time making sure she was comfortable and feeling good and…

God, Lydia hadn't even realized she had thought that much about her and Stiles' first time. She didn't realize exactly how much she cared for him, how much she wanted to be _that _girl, his _first_. Sex to her had never been this beautiful, loving thing—it was usually a fun, satisfying experience. Done for pleasure or reproduction. But with Stiles… she knew it could be different. It could be what those novels always tried to make it seem like, when you did it with someone you truly loved.

Her chest tightened again. _Loved_. She loved Stiles. Her feelings for him had grown so much that she could barely keep up, and now she was realizing just how special he was to her in time for her to realize she had lost him. She knew she felt more for him than she had any other boy she had ever fallen for, because she let him in so much more than anyone else, and now… now it was all for naught. She was in love with someone who had moved on from her, someone who had found a new girl to fight the supernatural fight with. He didn't need Lydia anymore. In fact, Malia was a better choice since she could actually defend herself and Stiles. All Lydia could really do was scream and find dead bodies.

It was too much. Lydia felt her composure cracking and she swore every nerve ending in her body was splitting. Everything hurt.

Danny excused himself to the bathroom, and Scott seemed to finally notice the horror on Lydia's face. Her hand was covering her mouth, pushing hard to stop the cries from coming out, and she didn't look like she was even breathing.

"Lydia…?" he asked worriedly, his hand reaching out to touch her arm, and he inhaled sharply in surprise.

Lydia wasn't sure what was wrong at first but then she noticed the black coursing through his hand veins. He had sucked up some of her pain. He probably hadn't even planned on it but maybe she was feeling so much right now that his supernatural instincts were working without him consciously thinking about it.

Lydia knew it was wrong, and cruel, but she didn't move her arm away. And instead of trying to control her feelings, she let them all flow through her at once. Losing Allison, her best friend, and feeling like she was more alone in the world than ever. Seeing Stiles at his house with Malia, all giggles and flirting and puppy love. Running into the Sherriff and getting more sympathy and attention from Stiles' dad than the one she had gone over to see in the first place. Hearing Malia and Stiles kiss, seeing them by his jeep, the handholding in the hallway, the matched schedules, and finally the way it felt to realize that she had been replaced and he had moved on. Stiles had stopped waiting for her, just in time for her to realize that he had been the one she had unknowingly been waiting for her whole life. And just like that her heart broke in two.

Scott gasped again, loud enough that people looked over in alarm or distaste, and Lydia watched in horror as his claws came out and he scratched deeply across the space where his heart was, as if he was trying to take it out of his chest or swipe away the pain that was there. His shirt ripped and red leaked down his torso.

Thankfully, his back was to most people, but Stiles stood up and rushed over, clearly aware that something was up.

Lydia wrenched her arm out of Scott's grasp as he panted from the exertion, his eyes wild with pain and concern.

"Lydia, no, wait…"

"What the hell is going on?" Stiles asked, nearly skidding into the table in his haste. Malia followed, looking concerned since it was clear that Scott was recovering from some sort of painful blast.

Lydia grabbed her bag and swung it over her shoulder, looking at Scott with tears in her eyes. "Oh god, Scott, I'm so sorry. I-I didn't mean to."

"Lydia, it's okay, please stay…" he began weakly, but she was already rushing out of the library as fast as her high heels could take her.

"Lydia, you're leaving…?" Danny asked as she ran by, but she didn't stop to give him a response. She had to get out of there.

Once she got in her car, she wondered why she was running. Stiles wouldn't chase her, except maybe to scold her for hurting his best friend. After all, that's what the majority of their exchanges had been lately. First it was Malia, now it would be Scott.

_Good job, Lydia. You're really making him see all the good you have to offer._ Lydia mentally chastised herself.

Too frustrated and ashamed to stay at school any longer, Lydia put her car in drive and took off.

* * *

She hadn't even realized where she was going until she got there.

Lydia sat down in front of Allison Argent's grave, hugging her knees. She let the near-summer breeze flow through her, tickling her hair and blowing her dress against her legs, before she sighed.

"I wish you were here. I wish I could talk to you about all of this. You'd probably tell me it took me long enough, but you'd be sympathetic and not tease me about it when I'm already feeling so rotten. You'd be unhappy that I let Scott take away my pain when he didn't deserve to feel all of that, but you'd hug me tight anyways."

She tried to swallow around the lump in her throat, hoping that with a few extra breaths her voice wouldn't be so shaky, but it was pointless.

"I really miss you, Allison. I miss your smile and your laugh and the way you didn't make me feel like an idiot even when I was being one. I miss your advice and our talks and your hugs and how you always knew just what to say when I was feeling awful. You made me a better person; you gave me strength that I feel like I'm missing now. I could really use some of that these days."

Lydia picked at a few blades of grass, sighing.

"If you were here, you'd probably tell me to tell him how I feel. I'd tell you it's easier said than done, but you'd put me to shame what with the way you told Scott how much you loved him with your last dying breath. You were always so brave, Ally. I wish I was brave like you. If I was, I wouldn't be in this mess in the first place."

"You'd probably tell me to try to be supportive of him and Malia, since he had always shown me the same courtesy, and that having him as a friend is better than not at all. And you'd be right. And if Malia makes him happy, I should be happy for him. He deserves to be happy. And maybe I was just stupid to think I deserved him because of all we've been through together. I don't know. My imagined advice from you is significantly less effective than your actual advice."

A few tears slipped out. She never imagined going through something like this without Allison. She could really use her best friend right now, but she had lost her and she wasn't coming back.

The wind picked up, cool but then warmed, comforting like a hug. Lydia smiled. If that was a sign from above, she knew Allison was listening and sending her love.

Lydia stayed in the cemetery for god knows how long. She had texted her mom after she left school to tell her she was helping Scott and Danny with homework and then they were going to get food and watch movies, so she shouldn't expect her until late. Lydia just didn't want to go home. She didn't know where she belonged anymore, and here, with Allison, seemed like the only place right now that made sense.

It had only been a couple hours since she had left school when she heard the sound of feet crunching against the ground behind her. She turned to see Stiles walking cautiously up to where she was sitting.

"Hey… I'm sorry. I don't want to, like, interrupt anything. I just wanted to make sure you were okay." he said apologetically, scratching the back of his neck and squinting through the setting sunlight.

Lydia wiped her face quickly and stood up, her heart aching at the sight of his concerned honey eyes. She hadn't seen those aimed in her direction in a while.

"How did you know to look here?" she asked, purposely changing the subject.

He shrugged, rocking back on his heels. "Well, since you left all of your friends at school, I figured this was the first place you'd go. I swung by your house to be sure, and then I thought I'd give you some time with her before I came by."

Lydia looked back at the gravestone, but didn't respond. She wasn't really sure how to answer that.

"Is Scott okay?" she finally asked, looking back at him warily, not sure how he felt about the whole thing. Scott, no doubt, had explained what happened. Even if he wasn't sure where the feelings were coming from, he wasn't an idiot. If he looked back at their conversation before it all went down, he'd know exactly what the source of her pain was. It all came back to the man standing in front of her now.

Stiles simply nodded. "He's fine. His chest healed, like, two seconds later. He's worried about you actually. You, uh… you kind of piled a lot on him."

The way Stiles was standing, so far back and with that wary, unsure look in his eyes made Lydia feel more like a freak than she ever did when she was finding her powers as a Banshee, and that was saying a lot.

Lydia crossed her arms and looked away from his face. "I'll have to call him later and apologize. I really hadn't meant to hurt him. As soon as he started taking it away, it just felt so… relieving, so I let him. And then I couldn't believe what I had done. I'm a monster…"

Stiles took another step forward, shaking his head, and reached out to touch her shoulder. "You are nothing of the sort. But Lydia, what is hurting you so much? I know we've all been through a lot, but it seems like something else is going on. You've been different lately. You're… jumpy and defensive and… I know there's something else going on, I can feel it. And Scott's taken away pain before, but I've never seen him have that kind of reaction before so I know it must have been substantial. What's going on?"

His voice was warm and soft and like the Stiles she knew and loved and it only broke her heart further. She wanted to believe he cared, that she had been misinterpreting the last few weeks, but all that would do was open her heart up for more punches and she couldn't handle that anymore.

Stiles had Malia now. Lydia was just emotional baggage he needed to cut loose from. Lydia felt like she was constantly falling apart at the seams around Stiles, and Malia, who had spent half her life as a coyote and was adjusting to living like a human again, didn't even bat an eyelash. She just seemed so… strong and pulled together. The way Lydia used to feel before werewolves began wreaking havoc around town. And maybe that's exactly what Stiles needed. Maybe that was what drew him to Malia now, that quality that she once had too but now lacked.

She knew she wanted to be with Stiles, that she loved him, but maybe she wasn't what was best for him. Maybe he'd just be better off without her all together.

Lydia pulled away from him finally, passing him to head back to her car. "It's nothing. I should get going. My mom's expecting me."

Stiles didn't let her get far, tugging on her arm to spin her around. "I already talked to your mom, and she said you were at Danny's with Scott doing homework and having a movie marathon and that you wouldn't be back until late. Why are you lying to me, Lydia? Since when do we lie to each other?"

It was such a boyfriend/relationship thing to say that Lydia let out a bark of laughter that could probably rival his coyote girlfriend's.

"Stiles, we've both talked to each other's parents more than we've talked to each other lately! And you seriously think you have a right to call me out on lying to you when you've barely said a word to me in weeks?"

A flash of hurt crossed Stiles' face before he looked ticked off and confused.

"Lydia, you asked for space! Why are you making it seem like I'm the bad guy for giving it to you? I didn't realize that with space comes losing our friendship, losing us all together."

Lydia's hands shook and she balled them into fists at her side. "I asked for space, not to be ignored and forgotten about, okay? And maybe it was selfish of me to want some time to sort through my own feelings rather than pile them on you like some sort of emotional baggage drop-off centre, but I thought that you might, I don't know, actually miss me or something. Which apparently was stupid."

"Who said I didn't miss you? Lydia, I tried my best to respect your space. I don't think you're selfish for taking some time to yourself. But I didn't really know what to do in that kind of situation… I didn't know where the line was or what you wanted. I figured if you wanted to talk to me, you would, but you didn't. So I kept waiting."

Waiting? For what, to show off his new girlfriend to her?

But she started to feel a prickle of shame. He had a point. It had been her who asked for space, not Stiles, and she had told him she'd come to him when she was ready. And besides her stop at the Stilinski residence, she hadn't made as much of an effort to see him even at school due to her mixed feelings on him. It hadn't really been Stiles who had kept them apart—it was her. Stiles was just being a good friend. And yeah, maybe he filled his free hours with another girl, but what else was he supposed to do? Pine after her and drown himself in the loneliness? And Lydia knew Malia needed friends too. Sure, she got more than she bargained for with Stiles, but still. Stiles was a good guy. What kind of person was she, blaming him for all her own stupid decisions?

"Lydia?" Stiles asked, concerned again, and she realized that a few tears had escaped her eyes.

"Sorry I just…" She shook her head, trying to get her thoughts back in order. "I… I've been so completely unfair to you. For so long. I knew I never deserved you, but this… this just makes it that much clearer."

"What are you talking about?" Stiles asked, hands gripping her elbows to pull her closer to him, and she could almost feel his body heat mingling with hers. He was too close.

"Stiles…" she whispered, tears falling freely now. She knew she had to tell him. She knew these feelings inside her couldn't stand being pushed to the side anymore. She felt like she did before she released a banshee scream, like there was this pressure inside her that could only be relieved by screaming loud enough to shatter glass.

"Lydia, please, talk to me. I'm so worried about you." he murmured, hands moving up to caress her face in his hands.

Oh god, he was so gentle with her. He probably touched Malia this way before he leaned down and kissed her.

The harsh reality caused her to wrench back from him so hard he backed up like he had been burned.

"Lyd—"

"No… you were right. I have no right to be upset with you for living your life without me in it when it was my fault we were apart. I have no right for being upset that you've moved on and replaced me. I'm being entirely self-absorbed."

"Replaced you? Lydia, what—"

"I just thought when I came by your house, you'd get the message that I was done with the space between us. But when you never sought me out after that, I just assumed that you didn't care to…" She had planned on saying it strong and nonchalant, but the last bit came out different than how she practiced in her head. Even she could hear the hollow loneliness in her voice.

Stiles' eyes softened and all traces of confusion were swept away. "You were gone so quick, I just thought that maybe you were dropping something off or just checking in or maybe had a homework question… And when you didn't make any effort after that to see me again, I figured that you still wanted some time."

Lydia nodded, hating herself. Why did she expect Stiles to be psychic? Maybe he could have figured it out but it's not like she helped herself any avoiding him after the incident. Poor Stiles was just doing what she had asked him.

"I wanted to see you, Lydia. It was so hard to not talk to you in the hallway at school. It would take every muscle in my body to keep me several feet away at all times. And it took all my effort not to be clingy and needy and call you at three a.m. when I felt like my insides were being torn out. I thought about you all the time. Sometimes I'd head to your locker after class instead of mine, just on autopilot, or go to order your favourites when I was supposed to be ordering take-out for me and my dad."

Lydia had no idea what to say. She felt like a hole had been carved into her chest. So much of what Stiles had just confessed mirrored her feelings, the instincts to call him or pick out a movie he'd like or get an order of his favourite dessert to go. It was to be expected when you got to know someone so well and spent so much time with them, only to quit them cold turkey, and Lydia wanted to scream at herself for thinking that she ever had to take time to figure out her feelings for Stiles. They had been under the surface for so long how could she ever imagine they were just a side effect of all the craziness they had been through?

God, Lydia really _was_ an idiot.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything." Lydia finally said, turning away from him. All she did was give him pain, make him feel like he had to hurt himself at the benefit of her, while Malia managed to keep his spirits up and make him laugh. It was no wonder why she was the better option, past coyote life notwithstanding.

It was quiet between them for a few minutes, but Stiles finally broke it.

"So… all that pain that Scott tried to take away… that was my fault?"

Lydia's lip trembled and she bit down hard on it. She didn't know what to say. It wasn't really his fault. It was hers, for taking so long to figure out her feelings and leaving it very open for Malia to sneak in and win over Stiles' heart. She wasn't going to shame Stiles for feeling happy. But she didn't want to lie to him either.

"Not… not exactly." she muttered. "Look, it doesn't really matter. You and I are okay now, right? So let's just… let it go."

She should have known Stiles wouldn't just let that go. He was far too stubborn. Albeit an admirable quality when it came to not giving up on something or someone, but frustrating when she just wanted him to drop it.

"Lydia, please, what is it? You know you can tell me anything, right?"

_So not helping, Stilinski._

"Honestly, it's nothing, let's just get out of here. Malia's probably waiting for you."

"Lydia, I—"

But he suddenly stopped, realization dawning on his features. She wouldn't meet his eyes, which was as good as verbally confirming where the problem lied.

"Malia… the other day at my house, that jab you made… the way you've been avoiding even looking at me in the halls since then…"

Lydia kept her eyes forward and just shrugged one shoulder.

"She's really not that bad, Lydia. She's fun to hang out with, and I know she's Peter's daughter and that is reason enough to be wary, but it's not like she grew up with him…"

"I know." she murmured.

"And she's trying really hard to fit in as a human, enrolling in school even though she's missed a lot, and she's practicing how to control her were-coyote-whatever powers with Scott, and she's got some really cool stories from life in the woods…"

He stopped talking when he saw that Lydia's face was scrunched up like she was trying not to cry.

She had cried enough today. Lydia was determined to keep her emotions in check, but it wasn't proving very easy.

"She seems wonderful, Stiles. You're a lucky guy. And she's lucky to have you too."

He looked so bewildered, bless his heart.

"If you don't have a problem with Malia, then why…"

He trailed off, only looking more confused now, like he couldn't even think of the possibility that she was jealous. She was jealous of the girl that got to hold his hand in the hallway and kiss him by his jeep and listen to him ramble about some sci-fi movie plot that he was passionate about. She missed being the one Stiles talked to before he went to sleep and being the one he teased and bantered with.

Lydia was frustrated with feeling like this. With watching Stiles remain oblivious to her feelings. She was never one to let her feelings for someone dictate her self-worth, and here she was, feeling like a train wreck because the boy who had always loved her might not anymore.

Enough was enough.

"I don't have a problem with your girlfriend." She took a deep breath. "I have a problem that she _is_ your girlfriend."

Stiles' eyebrows furrowed as he contemplated the new information, but she was too impatient.

She sighed exasperatedly. "Do I have to spell it out for you, Stilinski?! I'm jealous of her! I hate seeing you with her. When I went to your house, seeing you two flirting and giggling and being all cutesy just about made me vomit up my breakfast. I couldn't stand being around you, watching you fall all over a girl that wasn't me. I had never imagined in the few weeks I took some time that you'd move on that quickly! And then Scott lets it slip that you two hooked up at Eichen House and then I realize that you had moved on long ago and I was just too oblivious to even notice! And then you know, at school, you're basically attached at the hip so if I want to talk to you, I'm going to have to deal with the handholding and the kissing by the jeep and it just hurts, okay? It fucking hurts so much I thought I was going to be torn in two. And I only took the time apart so I could make sure I knew how strong my feelings for you were before I tried to act on them, and as soon as I figure out I've fallen for you, you've scored a girlfriend who not only is gorgeous but is a total badass and..."

Lydia inhaled deeply, out of breath from her rant, and ran her hands through her hair.

"I just… I've avoided you because it hurt and today I realized that I had no right to expect you to wait for me to catch up when it took me so long and I ignored you for so long. I care about you so much, so I'm happy you're happy… I just wish you could be happy with me."

Stiles was staring at her with an expression she couldn't read. She wasn't sure what he was thinking, which only made her feel more scared for how he would react.

He swallowed hard and reached out for her. Before she knew it, she was wrapped in his arms and his mouth had descended onto hers.

They had exchanged one kiss before and he had been pretty stunned during the majority of it so he hadn't really been an active participant, but this time is was different.

Stiles' lips molded with hers, eagerly exploring them like he was on a mission, and her mouth opened to his like butter. He wasted no time in slipping his tongue inside to explore the depths, causing her hands to tighten in his hair, and she stretched higher to get closer to him.

His hands couldn't seem to stay still on her, sliding down her neck to her shoulder then moving to her waist to pull her tight against him. His other hand gripped her strawberry blonde locks in his fingers, anchoring her to him, and in no time at all she was breathless.

Their lips separated so they could suck in air for a moment, but then they were right back at it, nails scraping at his scalp, lips aggressively working over the other, and Stiles moaned into her mouth when her teeth grazed across his bottom lip sensually.

"God, _Lydia_…" he whispered, his voice full of need, and the sound brought her out of her clouded head.

She pulled back, wiping her mouth and breathing heavy.

Stiles' face was flushed, his lips pink and a little swollen, and he looked exactly like he had been thoroughly kissed. She knew that was by her doing, and normally it would give her a thrill, but all she could feel was guilt eating her up.

"Malia." Lydia stated, the place where her heart had iced over some time ago numbing a little more.

Stiles just shook his head. "There's another reason I was late coming here… we sort of… ended things. Figured we're better off as friends."

Lydia felt like the ground had been pulled out from underneath her. "What?"

He shrugged, looking more like his old bashful, awkward self as he blushed a little. "She kind of knew you and I had history and wasn't the happiest when I dropped our plans to go find you even though you and I haven't hung out in a really long time. The truth kind of came out that…"

"That what?" Lydia asked, knowing now wasn't the time to be coy. She wanted the truth. No more second-guessing what certain gestures meant or the true meaning behind offhand comments. She wanted the cold, hard truth, whatever it might be.

He caught her gaze and smiled a little. "That, as much as I like Malia, my heart has belonged to a 5'3 strawberry-blonde with green eyes since I was nine-years-old and that isn't going to change no matter how much time we spend apart."

Lydia couldn't keep the giddy smile off her face. She crossed the distance between them and threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

"I promise I won't let you get away so easily ever again. I'm sorry it took me so long."

Stiles held her close, nuzzling his face into her hair. "I figure you're worth the wait."

She pulled back to kiss him on the mouth lovingly. "I know you are."

He rolled his eyes at her sappy reply, but she could tell by his face that he was loving it. His knuckles ran along her upper arms gently.

"I know I've been crazy about you for a really long time, but I hope you know it's more than that now. I've gotten to see the real you, to really discover who you are, and it's only made me fall harder for you. You… you've fully captured my heart, Lydia Martin, and no girl can ever compare in my eyes. You're the one."

She smiled brightly, feeling her eyes fill with happy tears.

"I love you, Stiles Stilinski."

His eyes registered surprise but he grinned and kissed her again, their smiles making it a short one.

She reached up to fix his hair, curling it around her fingers for a moment. "Look, I know that Malia was a lot of your firsts, but it doesn't matter. What you and I have is special no matter what."

Stiles looked confused for a moment. "She was my first… girlfriend? And first girlfriend that lived as a coyote for half her life…"

Lydia sent him a look. "Stiles, I know you lost your virginity to her at Eichen House."

He laughed pretty hard at that. "Lydia… I barely knew her when I was at Eichen House. Yeah, things got heated between us there, but I was her first kiss which, yes, led to us making out. But I wouldn't rush her on something that big whether I wanted it or not. She's… new at this whole human thing, and sex to me is a big deal. I didn't want her to feel like she was behind on everything. We're still young. Having sex for the first time to me is about doing it with the right person, not as soon as the situation is convenient."

Lydia absorbed that, gathering something from what he said. "So you… you were waiting for me?"

He blushed. "Well, I knew it wasn't necessarily going to happen, but you're who I always imagined being my first so… yeah, kinda…"

She couldn't keep the grin off her face, actually laughing out loud in relief. She gave him a long, hard kiss on the mouth excitedly.

He leaned forward for more but she put her hand on his chest, shaking her head. "Let's continue this elsewhere. And maybe work on changing your virginity status now that I know it's still intact."

Stiles' eyes went round as saucers, his mouth falling open.

Lydia giggled. "Well, you've made it clear that you've been certain about your feelings for me for a long time. And I didn't take all that time to sort my feelings for you so that we could hold hands at the mall." she teased, grinning at his dumbfounded expression as he understood that she wasn't joking. "Unless you want to wait. That's totally okay with me. We can take things slow."

Stiles gaped and ran a hand through his hair, letting out a laugh that sounded a tiny bit hysterical. "No… trust me, I want to. I… I will race you to my house. My dad's working late."

Lydia laughed at his boy-like enthusiasm, her heart feeling full at the way he was gazing at her like she was the rising sun, and she knew that she was in love with an idiot. It was okay though because she one too, and they were a perfect match.

She may not be the girl on the pedestal, but she was still the girl of Stiles' dreams, and that's all she needed to know to hand over her heart to the one who had always treasured it the most.


	2. The Boy with the Crush

_Had a few requests to do a Part II. I posted it on tumblr a couple days ago, but for all those that missed it, voila! This story rating has now moved up to M._

_**Summary:**__ Stiles reflects on his crush on Lydia and how it transformed into much more, and the pair finally has their first time._

_Let me know your thoughts if you can! Thanks for reading._

* * *

**The Boy with the Crush**

Stiles had had his fair share of annoyances at city traffic like anyone, and he wasn't afraid to voice his displeasure in the comfort of his own car. People who drove too slow, failed to use their turning signal, or didn't seem to understand the functions of a parking lot were just a few examples of things that tended to tick off the teenage boy.

But other drivers had never annoyed him as much as they had today. Because today he was racing his new girlfriend, his agonizingly-long-time crush of eight years, to his house so they could engage in something he had only allowed himself a few fantasies over the years.

…okay, maybe more than a few. He was a teenage boy. Sue him.

Stiles had fallen for Lydia Martin in the third grade. It was no mystery back then that she was a smart girl. She got perfect scores on every spelling test, always raised her hand to answer the teacher's questions or to volunteer to solve a math problem on the board, and generally had an air about her that screamed intelligence. Maybe it was the way she talked or how she never caved to peer pressure like so many of them did at that age. She was admired by all the girls and many boys made bets on who would be the one to kiss her _on the mouth_. A fact that was incredibly foreign at that age but everyone knew that one day they were supposed to want it so those that really did want it? _They_ were the cool ones. They were _so _much more mature than the others, and therefore were as cool as the kids a few grades above who were already holding hands.

Stiles didn't like being someone who fell into the stereotype of falling for the pretty popular girl with the pipe dream that someday she would notice his nerdy, awkward self. But he had. He saw more than the other people did, or at least that's what it seemed. While the others lost interest over the years, especially after Jackson Whittemore won the bet of getting a kiss from Lydia one day after school on the bus ride home, Stiles only found new reasons to like her.

He had a strange appreciation of her strawberry-blonde hair. Maybe it was because it always looked perfect or maybe because it was such a rare colour, but Stiles found himself mesmerized by the way it looked blowing in the wind with the sun sparkling through the strands. And her green eyes. He noticed the way they could be hard and challenging, but he saw the times they were soft and vulnerable too. Like after Lydia had gotten a spelling bee answer wrong and was disqualified from their faux-class competition. She had sat down and looked like she was going to cry. But she didn't. Which only made Stiles like her more. Most of the other girls weren't so in control of their emotions. And if there was one thing many males could relate to, it was getting uncomfortable when females broke out into tears that they couldn't understand.

Gradually, they grew up, and she only grew more beautiful. There were some years they weren't in the same class, which Stiles had dubbed _The Dark Years_ to Scott, but the years they were, Stiles discovered new things about her to fall in love with. How she always had a book from her backpack to read when they were trapped inside on a rainy day. The way she twisted her hair around her index finger and bit her lip when she was concentrating on a particularly hard math problem. Her sneeze, which was probably the most adorable sound in the world since she basically squeaked like a little mouse. Everyone always laughed when she sneezed and she'd blush or, when she got older and used to the teasing, smirk with a shrug.

Whatever the reason, Stiles had never been able to look at other girls with the same admiration as he did Lydia. He loved the way her name sounded on his tongue. He loved seeing her throw her head back and laugh. He loved how she always dressed so girly, in pretty dresses or skirt and shirt combos or with her hair pulled back with tendrils hanging down around her cheeks. Sometimes he lay awake at night thinking of things she said in class that day, even just answering a question the teacher asked, and he found himself smiling.

But that was his childhood infatuation. As they got older, Lydia started dumbing herself down. He assumed it was to appear more attractive to guys like Jackson, whose masculinity was so fragile he required a lesser mate that still reached his high social standards, but Stiles knew that she was a genius. He had got a glimpse of a few of her test scores and saw the way she lead a group project. There was no way she was lacking in the IQ department. Sometimes she slipped up and would offer a random fact or correct someone over something that ninety-eight percent of the population their age would have no inkling about.

She stayed on top of the social ladder even as they entered high school, but that was no surprise. She had grown more beautiful than he had ever imagined, and once Stiles actually was able to talk to her, he found even more reasons to fall hard. Lydia was determined, ambitious, strong, brave, stubborn, and accepted challenges without hesitation. Stiles was grateful when she broke out of the dumb girl routine and came into her own more, showing off her worth rather than letting someone else cage her in a certain bracket.

Having her enter into the supernatural world with him and Scott and the others had never been something Stiles considered would happen. He especially hadn't wanted her to get hurt. But when she joined their pack, she proved incredibly useful and sometimes Stiles wondered how they got by without her. She was more than just Allison's best friend or Stiles' research partner or a Banshee—she was a force to be reckoned with. And Stiles was completely head over heels.

Still, he knew his chances with her were slim to none so he settled on just being friends. It was more than they ever had been before and Stiles enjoyed his time with her, getting to know her and see different sides to her than the ones he had always observed from afar. The more walls she let down, the more beauty he saw, and he found that the little girl he had been infatuated with was nothing on the true Lydia Martin. The one who was strong and brave but secretly scared underneath. The one who once took drugs to forget the image of a werewolf running by her car but fought to save the ones she befriended without hesitation and embraced her Banshee powers when they came along. The one who used to put makeup on the smallest of blemishes but stood with the mark of a garrotte on her neck like the proud survivor she was.

And now, Stiles had won her affection and would be showing her his full appreciation for everything she was.

That is, if he ever got to his house.

He and Lydia had literally kissed and made up after a serious misunderstanding. All Stiles had known was that Lydia had been hurting, a lot, but he never imagined that it had to do with her being jealous of his new female friend. To be fair, he was generally sort of oblivious to anyone of the female variety showing interest in him, so he had been completely blind-sided by Lydia's confession that she had fallen for him hard.

Stiles and Malia had broken things off shortly before their conversation took place, so Stiles hadn't hesitated to prove her wrong in thinking that she was the only one still feeling that way.

Lydia had made a promise that they would make up for lost time, and since his dad was working late, Stiles offered to race her to his house. He wasn't leaving her any more hesitation over how he felt about her.

She had laughed at him, but she was Lydia and she was _always_ up for a challenge. So she took his joking statement as an actual competition and suddenly bolted to her car.

Stiles had stood there stunned for a minute but quickly followed in his jeep.

Unfortunately, because of his delay, it meant he was a few cars behind. Which wouldn't be an issue… except it meant he was stuck behind a huge lumbar truck that was taking its sweet time. And that led to missing a light or two, and then he had to wait for some pedestrians to cross the street, and all the while he was trying not to pull out his hair in his frustration.

"I am a seventeen-year-old member of the male species about to lose his virginity. HAVE YOU NO SOUL?!" he shouted at nobody in particular, hitting his forehead off his steering wheel as he waited for the light to change to green.

Once he finally pulled into his driveway, Lydia was leaning nonchalantly against her car like she had all the time in the world. He gulped, the nerves starting to set in. Had she gotten more beautiful since they were apart?

It might have been the hormones talking but he didn't really care. It took all of his self-control not to bound over to her like an excited puppy.

"So you won." he stated when she walked over to join him.

She shrugged. "What's my prize?"

He hadn't really thought of that part of it, seeing as he hadn't planned on it actually being a competition. "Personal pride?"

Lydia sent him a look, failing to not look amused. "How about you pay for takeout tonight?"

He would've anyways, so that was as a good negotiation for him. "Deal."

She smiled and linked arms with him as they walked up to the house.

"So I would've gotten free dinner if I had won?" he asked as he gestured her inside, slipping his key back into his jean pocket.

Lydia smiled slyly. "No. You would've gotten a show."

Stiles nearly fainted.

* * *

Although Stiles was denied a strip tease by the girl of his dreams, he still practically stumbled upstairs in eagerness.

Lydia looked to be suppressing a smile, but he was oblivious. His mind was completely clogged up with thoughts of what was about to happen. It wasn't just because he was finally going to get to experience sex, but it was with _Lydia_. She had become so much more than just a childhood crush over the last year, but it still seemed out of this world that he was about to lose his virginity to _her_. That she wanted him in more than just a platonic way…and that she was interested in him enough to have developed real feelings for him as well as attraction.

He had definitely calmed down around her, seen her as less of a shining reward and more as a beautiful person he was happy to get to know in any way, but he still felt like an awkward, anxious boy around her sometimes. The way she often made his heart flutter even when he seemed calm on the exterior made him feel like he hadn't changed at all from the boy she used to ignore.

Lydia didn't release his hand as they ascended the stairs. He felt like he could see thoughts stirring behind her eyes when he glanced back, but he had no idea what she was thinking about. She looked almost a little nervous, but how could she be? _He_ was the awkward, inexperienced one!

When they got to his room, his eyes immediately went to his bed, and he felt his stomach twist with nerves.

Lydia was looking the picture of calm, and he wondered if what he had seen before was a trick of the light.

"Do you need anything? A drink? Snack? Do you want, like, music or something? I should have an iPod dock around here somewhere…" Stiles commented, furrowing his brow as he tried to remember where he had last seen it, and quickly moved to clean up the small gathering of mess on his floor.

He had been better about keeping his room clean since a few months ago. All that was really out of place was a few dirty clothes on his floor and his mess of a desk. He picked up the clothes and placed them in the hamper, clearing off a few leftover wrappers on his desk from a couple nights ago when he stayed up late studying and used sugar to fuel his energy.

"You took down your research board." Lydia commented, as if she just figured out what was missing from his room.

Stiles stopped his ten second tidy and looked over at her. He had forgotten that she hadn't been around for the last few weeks. It was probably the longest time she had not visited his room since they became better friends.

"Yeah. I uh… thought it was time to clear my head." he answered honestly.

He moved to his night table and opened the top drawer. The box his father had provided him with last year, essentially once Stiles started actually hanging around with girls, was still sitting there unopened.

That was one more thing checked off the list. Wait, had Lydia even answered his other questions?

Examining his bed objectively, Stiles wondered if it would be appropriate to change his sheets to clean ones. After all, those had been on his bed for nearly a week. What if they smelled stale? What if Lydia was used to Egyptian cotton and rose petals?

"Stiles, what are you doing?" Lydia asked, stepping forward into his path to stop him.

"I… I'm trying to make sure we have everything we need." he explained, finally breathing a little.

She smiled, and his heart nearly beat out of his chest. This all still felt like a dream.

"You have condoms, yes?"

He nodded, gesturing to his night table. "I mean, I've got a full box because, well, it's not like I've used any before and—"

"And you love me?" Lydia asked, cutting off his rambling.

"Yes." he replied reflexively. Then it hit him. "OH god, I didn't even say that back to you earlier, did I? I mean I told you I had been in love with you since the third grade and that, you know, _implies_ the idea, but usually when someone says 'I love you' the correct response is 'I love you too' and I totally—"

"Stiles." Lydia said patiently.

"Yeah?" he replied in a strangled voice.

She tugged on the belt loops of his jeans so their bodies were pressed together.

"That's all we need." she murmured before leaning up to kiss him.

It was very easy to get lost in kissing Lydia. Despite his fantasies over the years, they were nothing on the real thing. He had never factored in the smell of her perfume, or the utter softness of her lips, or the way she pressed her body flush to his.

Regardless of all of this, his anxiety won the round and he broke away.

"I just… Lydia, I don't have… I'm not… this might not be, you know, _good_ for you… I know you've been with other guys, like, more than one, and I'm… as virginal as they come and—" His voice was going high-pitched in stress and Lydia grabbed his hands to hold them in hers.

"Stiles. There is absolutely no way you are going to disappoint me. And if it's not 'good', we'll just have to keep doing it until it is, okay? It's just like anything… practice makes perfect." she told him reassuringly, cupping his face in her hands. "Are you sure you want to do this? We can wait, Stiles. Seriously. I didn't mean to put that kind of pressure on you if you're not ready… we _just_ got together…"

"No, no, no, I didn't mean…" He ran a stressed hand through his hair. "I'm just… I don't want to disappoint you. I want this to be… good for you."

He mentally scolded himself for being so inarticulate and repetitive, but he didn't know how else to express his concerns. He didn't want to lie to her. He wanted her to know what she was getting into. Lydia was an experienced girl and that didn't bother him, except when it came to being compared to past lovers and falling short. He knew everyone started somewhere, but it was times like these he really cursed his inexperience. He wanted to make her feel good and, although he had some general guesses, he had no real certainty on how to do it.

Lydia smiled. "You have nothing to worry about. As long as it's with you, it will be great. Okay?"

He nodded. "Okay."

"We'll take it slow. There's no rush. We can take our time."

His head bobbed in agreement again, his hands stroking down her arms.

The strawberry-blonde let her hands skate up his chest to rest on his shoulders and she pulled herself up the few inches to kiss him soundly on the mouth.

This time Stiles let his feelings for the girl in his arms get the best of him. Her lips against his, gentle but with fire burning under the surface, pulled at something inside him. It was like a hook through his heart, dragging him over the edge of caution, and his returning kiss was much more demanding.

His hands left their stationary spot and swept around her waist, tugging her closer as their kissing heated up with ease. He couldn't contain his growing urgency—it was like his feelings had suddenly crashed into him full force, reminding him how long he had yearned for this, and how much deeper it meant now.

Lydia guided him to turn around, pushing him gently down on the bed and crawling after him towards the headboard, meeting their lips as soon as they were far back enough. She straddled him, kissing him harder now, and it really felt like things were going somewhere.

Stiles coaxed her mouth open, letting his tongue slip in once her lips parted, and she moaned in response to the gentle brushing he performed before letting their tongues get to know each other intimately. Her hands knotted in his hair as they kissed more desperately, his hips instinctually rising to meet hers on their down motion, and the desire rippled through him like an electric shock.

Lydia suddenly rolled them over, dragging him by his shirt and then pulling it up and off of him. Her eyes were wild with lust as she slowly stroked down his newly exposed skin and she was panting hard beneath him.

"When did you get so good at kissing?" she demanded as she pushed her hair off her face, some strands sticking to her.

He finally noticed how hot both of their bodies were, and he knew that had less to do with physical exertion and more to do with the arousal building inside of them.

Instead of replying, he switched places with her and assaulted her mouth with his again, his hands bunching her dress up in his fists on her waist. God, did he want her.

He hadn't really realized before, but he liked the feel of weight on top of him. With Lydia pressing against him, all of her in contact with all of him, it gave him a sense of comfort. He was used to being in close contact with her, especially after all of the chaos with the nogitsune where she practically was his living, breathing crutch the last few days of the fight, but this was different. This was much better.

Lydia broke away to tug the side-zipper of her dress down, slipping the garment over her head and tossing it to the floor.

It meant that he was now in the presence of a half-naked goddess, and he was absolutely speechless as his eyes darted around the new masterpiece lying above him.

Trembling a little, Stiles leaned up to press deliberate kisses into her neck, his hand sweeping around her back to pull her back against him again. Lydia complied, curling into his touch and releasing a soft sigh of bliss.

As he stayed busy with his new task, Lydia helped rid him of his jeans. Stiles kicked them off his ankles when the time came and she moved back in place to mount his hips again.

He suddenly realized, when her pelvis bumped against his, how very turned on he was.

Upon instinct, he made to move away—he was so used to covering that sort of reaction to anything up, hiding away in shame or embarrassment. But before he flinched out of reach, he realized that he didn't need to this time. She _wanted_ him to feel like that about her.

And that realization only made his arousal spike further.

"Hang in there, Stilinski." Lydia teased against his ear, feeling the spasm against her and bringing his mouth back to hers. She dragged her teeth across his bottom lip before kissing him hungrily.

"Not helping." he murmured back, his hips twitching with the need to jut upwards and seek friction.

Wondering if she was anywhere near as turned on as he was, Stiles figured he should probably try to level the playing field a little. Trying to concentrate the best he could while Lydia's lips were moving with his, his hand reached up to stroke her breast through the satin covering.

The rumbling in her throat spurred him on, and he began responding to her body language the best he could. He was gentle at first, gradually building up pressure in taut circles, a balance of firmness and ease, massage and tug, and when she pushed her chest more firmly into his hand, he knew he was doing something right.

He hadn't even realized she had stopped kissing him, her bottom lip caught between her teeth, and he moved his lips to explore the crevices of her neck. He figured now was as good of time as any to take the next step. He had a pretty good feeling Lydia was ready, likely not wanting to rush things until she was sure he was okay with them moving forward.

His nervous fingers stumbled over her bra clasp, and her breath hitched.

"Can I… I mean, do you mind if I…?"

Lydia kissed him long on the mouth, signalling her acceptance, and her fingers covered his to guide them into the proper procedure for unhooking it.

Once removed, it joined the building pile of clothes on the floor, and Stiles couldn't help but stare admiringly at the half-naked girl in his lap. His hands stroked lovingly along her waist.

"You're… you're gorgeous, Lydia. Completely." he stammered out.

Lydia smiled, her face already so flushed he didn't even notice her intense blush, and she leaned down to begin pressing kisses along the line of his abdomen.

He inhaled deeply, the softness of her lips brushing along the sensitive area below his bellybutton making him shiver, and the feel of her naked breasts rubbing against his bare skin made him groan. He was not going to last long enough to even get inside her. Was she feeling the same way or was he failing as a mutual lover?

Although he felt terrified to be so bold, he knew there was one way he could find out.

He flipped them so he was hovering above, her fire-filled eyes locking on his, and he swallowed before kissing her softly. Lydia didn't protest to the sudden change in pace, her fingers playing with his hair leisurely, and Stiles let his fingers skim down her torso to his new destination.

It seemed as though Lydia was oblivious until his index finger was teasing the hem of her underwear.

Her back arched, as if the very thought of him touching her there was enough to get her going, and he carefully removed the last article of clothing she donned.

His eyes met hers again, questioningly, nervously, and she nodded, making sure his lips were busy with her own when he finally moved his fingers into uncharted territory.

Lydia whimpered in approval as his sensual strokes began, his touch mostly curious and cautious at first, exploring the newfound area to see what made her hiss and move in delight.

He teased her entrance gently before finally slipping his fingers inside, her hips bucking up automatically to drag them in further. He moved two fingers in and out, curling them inside to rub every spot he could, and it wasn't long before Lydia was writhing beneath him. He felt a lot calmer now and even a little smug, her body doing all the talking he needed to reassure him he was doing things right. He added another finger, dragging up and then digging back down to pleasure all of the sensitive areas he could manage, causing friction as he moved back and forth along the entire length, and the girl beneath him was panting with want now. Upon re-entry, he realized she was more than ready for them to take the next step, and he groaned in time with her at the effort of holding back his orgasm at the concept of how wet she was for him.

"You might want to get that condom, like, now…" she told him, her hands undressing his lower half without hesitation, clearly not able to wait any longer either.

He was far too turned on to be embarrassed by being fully exposed to her, but there was no complaining coming from the strawberry-blonde either.

Stiles leaned over and fished a packet out of the box, nearly dropping it before getting it open.

It was like Lydia could tell that earlier fear was beginning to creep back up now that they were at the point of no return since she leaned over to kiss him softly, slowly, making him relax instantly. "I can put it on for you."

Taking it from his hands gently, she ran a hand down his middle slowly before grasping him in her delicate hands. Stiles breathed heavily out of his nose, trying not to thrust into her hand at the feel of someone's hand besides his own but especially _hers _on his most intimate area, and she fixed the prophylactic into place with practiced ease.

Her mouth found his again as he situated himself above her, her hands dragging his hips back in line with hers. She shifted her legs into better position, her knees bordering his hips to lock them in place, and smiled at his nervous expression.

"I'm ready whenever you are."

"I'm not going to, like, hurt you, right? It only hurts the first time?"

She chuckled but not in a mean way. "It only pinches when you puncture the hymen; at least it did for me. And it only hurts after that if a girl isn't turned on enough. But trust me, we're good on that front." she teased, pressing kisses into his neck adoringly.

With a deep breath, Stiles moved forward and slipped between her legs. At the feel of her muscles clenching around him, his face dropped to her neck and he practically sobbed it felt so good.

And he wasn't alone in that.

Lydia let him get used to the new position before rolling her pelvis up to begin the rhythm. Stiles quickly caught on and followed suit, his eyes focused on watching their bodies meet repeatedly to make sure he was doing it right. Lydia seemed to know he was overanalyzing things since she coaxed him to kiss her again, tugging at his bottom lip with her teeth. The action caused him to whine and get back to the level they were at before.

As they began moving together more naturally, their kissing became harder and more passionate, and soon Stiles realized he should do more. He knew it was taking all of his effort not to arrive right then, but he wanted to get Lydia closer before he reached his high. His hand slid up her body to revisit his earlier pleasuring of her breasts, and she hummed in delight as he stroked and rubbed where he saw fit. Her breath was coming out in heavy pants, her hips increasing their pace, and Stiles was surprised he hadn't caught fire with how much heat was building inside him.

He could feel Lydia trying to shift a little underneath him, as if she wasn't quite comfortable or was itching for something more, so he tugged behind her knee to reposition her thigh. He was surprised at how much deeper he was able to penetrate her at the new angle, and Lydia's sudden throaty moan alerted him that he had done the right thing.

He was close, too close to hold back anymore, and his thrusts picked up speed and force as he teetered on the edge before the fire shot from his spine and he let go inside of her.

He was grateful that his only vocal reaction was a low rumble at the base of his throat and not something more embarrassing. He continued his motions as he rode out the wave, unable to believe the blast his body had just undergone. Definitely the best orgasm he had ever had.

As he gained his strength back, he made quick work to get Lydia to the same place he had just been. His lips descended down from her shoulders, Stiles interlocking their fingers above her head, and her back arced in pleasure as he hit the special spot inside her. Her breathing hitched, and he knew she was so close she could practically taste it.

He pushed inside her harder, his mouth moving to her chest, and a catch of teeth on her sensitive peak was what sent her soaring.

She buried her cries of delight in his lips as her body quaked underneath him, kissing him appreciatively, and her body relaxed into its sated state after a few moments.

Both breathing heavily, Stiles separated them and discarded the condom in the waste bin by his bed. When he rolled back over, he drew Lydia into him, his lips brushing her forehead tenderly as they caught their breath.

After a moment, Stiles finally spoke. "Wow. So that was sex." he said, happy disbelief colouring his tone.

Lydia cuddled into him further. "It was. You are officially safe if we ever have someone trying to do human sacrifices again."

At the nonchalant way she said it and the reminder that their lives were anything but normal, both lovers cracked up. Maybe they were just too blissed out to do anything else.

Stiles kissed her softly. "Thank you. That was better than I could've imagined."

She smiled, her eyes sparkling with something he was only beginning to notice since her confession at the cemetery. "It was amazing for me too." she promised. "I didn't know I could feel so…" She struggled for the appropriate word for a moment before settling on one that made sense. "Whole."

Pink dusted her cheeks, and he realized she normally wasn't so honest about her feelings. Lydia was the kind of person who was more reserved about her personal feelings, keeping them to herself until she had time to process them and confirm a diagnosis of her opinion on the subject. Maybe it was the endorphins making her spill her guts.

He pressed a kiss to her temple. "I felt it too." he replied honestly, giving no reason for her to feel embarrassed by her confession.

It was true—although he definitely enjoyed the physical pleasure that stemmed from such an act, there was more to it. Being with Lydia that way… it was… peaceful. It made him tied to her in a different way, more grounded to everything or something.

Silence fell between them and they remained in each other's arms, succumbing to the lazy post-romp haze, as the sweat on their bodies dried. Stiles was half-conscious, feeling as though his body weighed a thousand pounds but was light as a feather at the same time.

He didn't know if it was normal or not, but what they had just done had made Stiles feel impossibly closer to Lydia. Even though they had clearly been as close as two people can get, it was like their tether had shortened and now they were closer than before. Whatever it was, Stiles felt like he never wanted to let her go, never wanted to have her out of his sight again. It had been weeks since he had been able to hold her, and he hadn't realized exactly how much the emptiness of his arms could ache.

Lydia was snuggled closer than she ever had been, so he had suspicions she felt the same way.

"We should get some food soon. You're going to be starving before you know it." she commented amusedly, sitting up finally and stretching her arms above her head to rid her shoulders of the kinks that had settled in.

The brown-haired boy followed suit, but his hands curved around her waist and pulled her into him, causing her to smile as his lips found her shoulder.

"Or we could try for round two?"

She smiled, her breath hitching as he sucked on a spot on her collarbone, and she pushed him gently away, not letting him win.

"Later, I promise."

Grunting in distaste but not really bothered much, Stiles dragged his boxers across the floor toward him and pulled them up his legs, his jeans following shortly after. Lydia had pulled on her underwear too but, instead of putting her dress back on, yanked his t-shirt from before over her head.

Stiles did a double-take when he looked over.

She grinned. "It's basically tradition for these sorts of things."

He returned the smile and got up to cross the room, his hands settling on her waist as he scanned her up and down. "Yeah… I can get used to the sight of Lydia Martin in my clothes."

"All guys are the same I swear." she giggled, rolling her eyes, but he tugged her forward and kissed her tenderly.

When he pulled back, he leaned his forehead against hers, shaking his head in disbelief, a small chuckle slipping out.

"I've fantasized about being with you like this so many times but I honestly never thought it would happen. It was just a… crazy dream. But here we are."

Lydia let her arms loop around his neck and she smiled. "And here we'll stay." She kissed him once before releasing him to take his hand. "Come on, lover boy. Let's order some food. And lots of it since you're paying."

She lead him downstairs, letting him lasso him into her when they were on equal ground, and he pulled out the basket of paper pamphlets.

"So what are you in the mood for? We have about a million take-out menus hanging around since my dad works late so much and I'm rarely home on time to cook a decent meal."

Her eyes widened. "You cook?"

He shrugged. "Sometimes."

"Like what? Kraft Dinner?"

Stiles laughed. "My culinary skills go beyond packaged mac and cheese thank you very much. I can cook real food. In fact… I'll cook for you for our next date. Just to prove it."

Lydia's excitement showed on her face. Most teenagers were pretty oblivious on how to make food. He wondered if she had ever had a boy make a meal for her before.

"Deal." she replied and walked over to fish out the menus from his hands. "If I remember correctly you said something about remembering my favourites when you go to order for you and your dad… willing to make a bet on that?"

"Do I still get the same prize as I would have before?" he asked enthusiastically.

"It'll have to wait for our next date so I can plan the perfect outfit, but yes." she said amusedly.

He couldn't help his eyes from lighting up. "Deal! Deal, deal, deal, deal—"

"Okay!" she laughed. "So… this place." she said slyly, clearly aware that they had never eaten from that place together before and he'd have to guess.

His face fell a little in disappointment, making Lydia start to regret her evil plan, but he took it from her with a mischievous grin.

"You forget how well I know you, Lydia Martin."

And when he ordered all of her usuals without fail, she shook her head in disbelief and decided that maybe she needed to give the boy with the crush far more credit for his cleverness.

* * *

Lydia and Stiles got dressed properly after dinner and round two, knowing that the Sheriff wouldn't be home for a while but that she would have to go home soon, much to their dismay. Still, they were making the most of their first night together, hanging out much like they always had, save for the supernatural research and the fact that most of their disagreements were broken up by playful kissing.

Naturally, they lost track of time, and Stiles was laughing at something that Lydia had said when the front door unlocked, causing them to be oblivious to the newcomer.

As the Sheriff made his way into the house, following the sound of his son's carefree laugh, he stumbled upon a sight he wasn't expecting.

He had been surprised when he had seen Malia and Stiles engaging in romantic-style interactions around the house—watching movies with his son's arm around her shoulder or waist, holding hands as they left the house, and the odd kiss goodnight. As far as Stiles' dad knew, the teenage boy had always only had eyes for one…

…the one he was currently making out with on the couch in the living room.

Trying to suppress a smile of amusement and a _teensy_ bit of pride, the Sheriff corrected his throat.

Stiles flew off Lydia so fast it was like she had suddenly turned into a Kanima. Lydia immediately straightened up and wiped her mouth, pulling her dress back into place as her cheeks matched her hair colour.

"Dad! You're… you're home!"

"That's sort of the thing that happens after I finish my shift at work."

Clearly, sarcasm ran in the family.

"Right… well… uh, how was your day?"

His father regarded him with an air of disbelief. "How about we talk about it in the kitchen? It's nice to see you, Lydia." he added pleasantly.

"You too." she managed, but it came out as sort of a squeak.

Stiles glanced at his kissing partner before following his father desolately out of the room like a scolded puppy.

The Sheriff just had to look at him and Stiles was spilling his guts.

"Okay, before you say anything, me and Malia aren't together anymore, so we can skip the disrespecting girls lecture or whatever it is. We were barely going out anyways. And things at school got crazy today and then I talked to Lydia and stuff came out and I guess she somehow feels the same way? And I don't know, Dad, it's all still like a dream but I'm really sorry you came home to that… we're… you know, still getting used to the idea of us being an actual thing… and… yeah."

His dad opened his mouth and then closed it, smirking a little now. He had seen the subtle signs over the months that Lydia felt something a little more than friendship for Stiles, but he knew it wasn't his place to get in the way of that and that Lydia would tell Stiles when she was ready. Frankly, he was happy for the pair of them. He knew they had a special connection—one he hadn't thought existed before despite Stiles reassurance since he was a child that it was there, just unspoken. But over the past year, when Lydia started coming over and the two started becoming real friends, he saw something stronger than just new pals and he knew it wasn't just from his son's side.

The other day when Lydia had stopped by and left upset, he had known immediately what was wrong and had a good feeling why she had come over. It had upset him to see her so hurt when he knew she hadn't been having the easiest time already, and especially when he was sure Stiles' feelings for her hadn't changed despite the new girl he was spending time with.

Now, seeing his son's panicked explanation but the outstanding light in his eyes he hadn't seen in a long, long time, he couldn't help but be ecstatic that the two had finally gotten together, no matter what he had stumbled upon when he got home.

There was something else he was pretty sure about too.

"I hope you were safe."

Stiles' expression was priceless. "What, did, I… wh-what—DO I HAVE _DE-VIRGINIZED_ STAMPED ON MY FOREHEAD OR SOMETHING?!" he shouted incredulously, and they both heard a soft groan from the living room which meant Lydia was well aware that his father knew what had happened between them earlier.

His dad had to laugh, trying to control it the best he could so as not to embarrass his son further, who was now beet red.

"I'm happy for you, Stiles. Both of you. I just don't want to become one of those parents on a teen pregnancy reality show and have to sleep with my gun on me, waiting for her father to come take us both out."

Stiles covered his face in his hands and moaned. "You sound like Scott's mom. Please just… can this conversation be over?"

He took pity on him. "All right. Go back to your girlfriend. But as happy as I am for you two, we'll have to discuss girlfriend ground rules later."

Stiles nodded, leaving the room immediately.

Lydia had her feet up on the couch, pillow on her bent legs, and her face buried in it.

"Hey… it's over. He's going upstairs."

"He KNOWS?!" she wailed, pressing her face back into the cushion in horror.

He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "He… _is_ the Sheriff… it's sort of his job to be able to read people I guess…"

Lydia simply groaned in response.

"Lydia, it's just my dad…"

"I don't know how I'm going to ever look him in the face again, knowing he knows exactly what day I deflowered his son…"

"Does deflowered work when girls do it to guys?"

"_Stiles_…"

"Sorry."

He scooted over and pulled the pillow out of her grasp, wrapping an arm around her and hugging her.

"My dad adores you. He's happy we're together. He just, you know, has concerns about us moving too quickly and not taking proper precautions."

Lydia wouldn't admit it, at least not yet, but Stiles' arms around her always put her at ease. She exhaled. She knew his dad would've figured it out eventually, or at the very least assumed, but she was still embarrassed. Although partly to do with her feelings for his son, Lydia cared what the Sheriff thought of her, and she hated falling into the stereotype of 'typical hormonal teenager'. She just worried he'd think less of her for them moving so quickly, that she was that kind of girl. And maybe she was before… but Stiles made her different, made her better, and she wanted him to see that more.

She looked at the clock on the wall and sighed. "It's getting late. My mom's going to be calling soon. I should get going."

Stiles looked disappointed, but led the way down the hall, Lydia grabbing her bag and swinging it over her shoulder. She fished out her keys and turned to face him, knowing it was goodbye for now. After the crazy day they had, it seemed so surreal. She could tell by the look in his eyes that he was feeling the same way—he didn't want to be away from her either.

But they were two seventeen-year-olds who still were under their parents' roof. There would be times in the future where they wouldn't have to separate, but tonight was not one of those times.

"Thanks for today." Stiles told her as he pulled her into a tight hug, nuzzling his face in her hair as he held her close.

She smiled, feeling a little emotional over how much had happened. It felt like a week instead of a simple twenty-four hours. "Thank you for not giving up on me."

Stiles seemed to notice the way her eyes had become a little moister since they had gotten to the goodbye of the night and he pulled her into a long, loving kiss.

"I love you. That's never going to change."

She forced her tears back. "I love you too."

She leaned up and kissed him again, her lips lingering on his for an extra moment before she finally broke away and opened the door.

"Goodnight, Stiles."

"Goodnight, Lydia."

And with that, she left for her car and Stiles locked the door behind her. He leaned against the closed barrier and exhaled heavily, running his hands through his hair and closing his eyes, his mind still wrapped up in everything.

Unbeknownst to him, his dad had been peeking down at the scene and felt a tug at his heart. He remembered feeling the way his son currently was, like his heart had just left and drove away and wouldn't be whole again until she returned. It had been the way he felt about his wife after their first time too.

He let his son indulge in his privacy and headed to his bedroom alone, hoping Stiles and Lydia had a better ending than he and Claudia had.

* * *

Stiles lay in bed staring at the ceiling for what felt like hours. His room felt oddly empty without Lydia there. His bed seemed huge.

He could still smell the tiniest of remnants of her perfume on the sheets. It only made his heart ache for her more. He had spent much of the last few weeks missing her, but it was nothing on his current feelings. Now he craved her presence like she supplied him with oxygen.

He rolled over again, unable to get comfortable. Maybe it was because of how his arms didn't seem to have a purpose when they weren't busy holding a 5'3 strawberry-blonde goddess.

"You're being stupid. And pathetic." he muttered to himself.

Now that they had taken their relationship to the next level, he missed new things about her. The way she giggled when he kissed a certain spot on her neck, the little smirk she wore when he let out some sort of vocal appreciation for whatever magic she had instilled on his body, and the feel of her lips moving with his. He craved intimacy with her so much he felt like it was going to eat him alive. He wanted to listen to her talk about anything, quantum physics or math theorems or the history of zippers. He loved listening to her talk, how animated and passionate she became about the oddest things, and the fiery look in her eyes when he tried to argue with her about something, whether seriously or teasingly.

Stiles sighed. He wasn't sure if he was going to be able to sleep without hearing her steady breathing next to him. They had only had a handful of sleepovers, but Stiles always slept the most peacefully when she was there. They had blamed it on the emotional tether out loud, but Stiles knew it was because of the way she brought peace to even his crazy mind. She had become his anchor long before he had performed the sacrifice.

His phone suddenly lit up and Stiles scrambled to grab it, grinning when he read the display.

"Hey, beautiful. I was just forcing myself not to call you… every minute since you left."

Lydia chuckled into the receiver. "I've been trying not to give in too… but after so many weeks of stopping myself, I've lost all will power and had to give in. I was hoping I wouldn't wake you."

"Nah I'm wide awake. How are you?"

She sighed. "Tired. Lonely. I wish I was with you. I get why we have to be apart, but it really sucks. We help save the city from total destruction yet we still have to be in by curfew? It just… sometimes I find it really unfair."

"I really wish you were here too." Stiles replied, silently agreeing with her sentiment but knowing that ranting about it in length wouldn't help anything, only fuel their irritation further. "My bed feels empty without you."

It was quiet between them for a few minutes.

"My mom goes away on in a couple days for a teacher's conference thing in another city. She'll be gone overnight… do you think you can stay over? Tell your dad I'll be all alone and helpless? Or that you're staying at Scott's or something?"

Stiles laughed. "My dad knows full well you're not helpless… I'm half sure he thinks you're a total badass. And I'm pretty sure after today he will know before I even ask who I'm going to be with… but yeah, I'll talk to him. He's usually pretty good about stuff, and he knows how I feel about you, so it'll probably be fine."

Lydia couldn't help but smile, glowing with pride again at how deeply Stiles cared for her and how much all of those in his life knew it. He really hadn't kept it quiet and it made her feel special.

"So I guess the countdown begins now. You know…" She hesitated a little, suddenly shy. "I always sleep better when I'm with you."

He couldn't help but smile, chuckling a little at their mirroring feelings. "Me too."

Lydia yawned.

"You should sleep. We can talk tomorrow, Lydia."

"I don't want to hang up yet." she replied, although there was definite sleepiness in her tone now. "I like listening to your voice. We could just lie like this, listening to the other breathe until one of us falls asleep."

"Okay." Stiles agreed, feeling his body beginning to tug him towards exhaustion too. It _had_ been a really eventful day after all.

He lay down and got comfortable, listening to Lydia's soft breath flow through the receiver. He could hear it already evening out, and he smiled to himself. It wasn't as good as having her next to him but it was definitely a nice alternative.

Although the plan was for him to hang up after she fell asleep, or vice versa, he ended up falling asleep before he had the chance.

Despite having a crush for so many years and imagining a day when he could call Lydia his girlfriend, his dreams still seemed to have nothing on the real thing.


End file.
